Motherhood is something many women look forward to and cherish. The gift of having someone call us ‘Mom’ is a special one. But, not all mothers feel this way.
Some “trendy” moms are skipping the label because they want to maintain their identity rather than being called ‘Mom.‘ They fear the label will draw up negative connotations about them. Using stereotypes, they think of moms as old and frumpy women who don’t take care of themselves. These women don’t want to be labeled in that manner. Instead, they want to be called by their first name.
“I’ve always looked after myself. I cycle, play tennis, walk my dogs. I’ve had a good life, I’ve never had to work. I’ve got long eyelashes, thick glossy hair,” Irene Bard who is a mother said. “I get compliments all the time. The name ‘mum’ just didn’t sit well with my appearance.”
“It made me feel so old. I was in my late 30s — in my prime really — when I first asked them to stop. I didn’t look like a stereotypical, boring mum,” Irene told The Daily Mail. “I was incredibly bohemian with long, red hair and flowing skirts. People who didn’t know me were surprised I was a mother. Everyone assumes you’re rather strait-laced when they hear that word. And I didn’t want that.”
Her children are now grown and there is an obvious distance between them. She can’t say for sure if the reason for that is because she forced them to call her by her first name, but one does have to wonder.
Jouelle Baracho also doesn’t want to be called mom. One of her daughters is an infant while the other is four and a half years old. Jouelle wants to be a friend to her children and not have any division between them associated with her being called ‘Mom.’
‘We’re friends, not parents,” Jouelle said. “I don’t want her to think of us as an enemy. I never want her to feel she can’t talk to us. I like her calling me by my first name as it makes us feel more like girlfriends than mother and daughter. We have a lovely bond and she loves sharing her stories and adventures with me.”
The refusal to be called ‘Mom‘ can cause issues for children. Calling a parent by their first name can blur the lines between friendship and authority.
Psychotherapist Jennie Miller says this is not a good idea.”While it can seem incredibly cool — because we all want to be friends with our children — at some point, you have to put your foot down and be a mum. Allowing your child to call you by your first name says loud and clear: “We’re the same!” — and we aren’t.”
Children need boundaries established. There is a distinct difference between parents and friends. While hipster and vain parents may want to be their children’s friends rather than their authority figures, they aren’t necessarily doing their children any favors.
Share this if you are proud to be called Mom or Dad!
Source: Parent Map
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