intoxication, joke, black eye, marriage vows

This hilarious anecdote had me in stitches when I realized the twist! See if you can guess it before you find out!

A Husband Arrives Home, Drunk Out of His Mind

What He Wakes Up To Shocks Him.
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending
his company’s Halloween Party. Jack is not normally a
drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all.
He didn’t even remember how he got home from the
party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did
something wrong.
Opening his eyes, the first thing that he sees is a
couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side
table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up
and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is
in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the
house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a
huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom
mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner
of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and
a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:
Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get
groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I
love you, darling! Love, Jillian“
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is
hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning
newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack
asks, “Son… What happened last night?”
Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of
your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it,
and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black
eye when you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, “Son, why is everything in
such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”
His son replies, “Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the
bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off,
you screamed, “Leave me alone, I’m marriedll”
Broken Coffee Table: $239.99. Hot Breakfast: $4.20.
Two Aspirins: $.38. Saying the right thing, at the right
time. . . PRICELESS!!! “

Hilarious! You can’t underestimate the power of saying the right thing! Gentlemen, take note!

H/T: Love This Pic