Ellen DeGeneres’ final comedy special For Your Approval dropped on Netflix on Tuesday. The 66 year-old comedian has claimed that this will be her last foray into public life as a celebrity.

Now, she’s reflecting on her long career, which was lately marred by scandal.

DeGeneres’ Toxic Workplace Scandal

This comes two years after DeGeneres’ eponymous talk show went off the air following nineteen seasons. It also comes four years after DeGeneres found herself embroiled in a toxic workplace scandal on the set of the show. She was accused of being “mean” and presiding over a work environment that was demeaning to employees.

This was a huge blow to DeGeneres’ image, as she famously ended every episode of her talk show by telling her viewers to “be kind” to one another. Despite this, DeGeneres said in her special that she’s “proud” of who she’s become in the wake of this scandal.

“When you’re a public figure, you’re open to everyone’s interpretation,” she said. “And I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that, ‘What other people think of me is none of my business.’ Because people will say all kinds of things and you have no control over that. But you know the truth and that’s all that matters.”

Backstory: Ellen DeGeneres Is ‘Done’ With Hollywood After Netflix Special – ‘This Is The Last Time You’re Going To See Me’

DeGeneres Doesn’t Care Anymore

DeGeneres went on to say that in order to gauge her own success, she was forced to “care what people think” throughout he career in entertainment.

“If they like you, you’re in, and if they don’t, you’re out,” she continued. “And I’ve spent an entire lifetime trying to make people happy and I’ve cared far too much what other people think of me. So, the thought of anyone thinking that I’m mean was devastating to me, and it consumed me for a long time. After a lifetime of caring, I just can’t anymore. So I don’t.”

“But if I’m being honest… and I have a choice of people remembering me as someone who was mean or someone who was beloved,” DeGeneres added. “Be-lov-ed? Beloved? Beloved. Someone who is beloved? I choose that.”

DeGeneres then said that age has given her “perspective.” As she prepares to retire, she’s “happy not being a boss or a brand or a billboard, just a person.'”

Related: Ellen DeGeneres Shares How She Feels About The End Of Her Show

DeGeneres Pokes Funs At Allegations Against Her

DeGeneres also used her special to poke fun at the allegations about how she treated her employees. It was infamously alleged that DeGeneres had banned those who worked for her from making eye contact with her.

“I started a game of tag in 2016,” she admitted. “I would chase [employees] all over the studio, I would scare them because I loved to do that.”

“You know, hearing myself say this out loud … I was chasing my employees and terrorizing them … I can see how that would be misinterpreted,” DeGeneres concluded.

DeGeneres has certainly had some high highs and low lows in her career. It remains to be seen if she will stick to her guns and retreat from the public eye after this special.

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