DISGRACEFUL: Women’s Royal Rumble Won by Man

Although World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) purports to be a progressive, inclusive company where women athletes can shatter the proverbial glass ceiling, last night’s Royal Rumble event was a major step backwards, as the “historic” 30-women battle royal was won by a man.

According to witnesses at the Phoenix stadium where the event just wrapped up after a record-breaking 15-hour broadcast, the women’s Royal Rumble match was won by “the man,” though details are still sketchy regarding which man.

Some experts believe “The Man” refers to Seth Rollins, while others suggest the victor was a returning Ric Flair, who popularized the phrase “To be the man, you’ve gotta beat the man.”

What’s certain, however, is that WWE will face harsh blowback in the media for its ill-conceived decision to allow a man to compete in — let alone win — the Women’s Royal Rumble.

“We are sliding dangerously back into the sexism and misogyny of the Attitude Era,” said once backstage source, who asked to be identified only as B. Kidman. “What’s next? Are we going to give the Universal Championship to a shaved albino gorilla with a phallic birthmark on its chest?”

We will stay on top of this controversial story as it continues to not develop.