Brains Strowman awarded Nobel Prize in physics

Brains Strowman, previously best known as the bespectacled and intellectual older brother of sports-entertainer Braun Strowman, has been awarded the most prestigious prize in science this week for his landmark work in quantum chromodynamics.

Fans of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) were treated to a brief glimpse of the elder Strowman when Braun suggested he and his brother may team up at WrestleMania to face The Bar.

But when Brains was forced to withdraw from the match — he was already booked to deliver a talk about non-perturbative QCD quark-gluon plasma at MIT on the day of WrestleMania — he was replaced rookie sensation Nicholas, with whom Braun captured the WWE World Tag Team Championships.

Since withdrawing from the public spotlight after his sole appearance on Raw, Dr. Strowman has made significant advances in gauge-invariant gluon field tensor theory — advances that have earned him the Nobel Prize, putting him in league with such scientific geniuses as Einstein, Curie, and Poffo.

Dr. Strowman has faced some scientific criticism for his theories; it has been suggested, for instance, the Strowmanian quark-gluon plasma theory is analytically intractable within a lattice QCD model.

In response to such criticism, however, Strowman has recently published a new paper in Physical Review Letters demonstrating a theorem that he says will silence all critics:  g∃+ +hεs∃ HªΠds.