Seeking PG rating, WWE Network overdubs all instances of “suck it” to “love it”

As the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) cracks down on inappropriate and offensive language on streaming video services, the WWE Network has replaced all instances of the phrase “suck it” with the more palatable “love it.”

Although a beloved catch-phrase during the so-called “Attitude Era” of sports-entertainment, “suck it” is an “allusion to oral copulation that embodies toxic masculinity,” reads a press release issued today by WWE.

The press release continues: “We live in enlightened, inclusive times, and chauvinistic terminology such as ‘suck it’ will is no longer acceptable on our programming.”

Other edits to archival footage on the WWE Network include:

• The “Hot Lesbian Action” segment of 2002 has been renamed the “Consensual Expression of Love”
• John Cena’s “Five Knuckle Shuffle” — a thinly veiled euphemism for masturbation — has been renamed “The Happy Tap”
• The infamous “Choppy Choppy Your Pee Pee” segment has been re-edited into a sushi preparation video
• Val Venis has been removed from the network entirely
• The Katie Vick angle has been re-edited into a poignant tale of love, loss, mourning, and recovery

Many fans have expressed a dislike for what is being described as revisionist history, to which a WWE spokesperson replied: “If you’re not down with that, we’ve got two words for ya: love it.”