Sports

Hulk Hogan officially the second-worst orange-skinned, wispy-haired buffoon in WWE Hall of Fame

Hulk Hogan (orange clown to left) has made some dumb moves, but not nearly as many as “President” Donald Trump (orange clown to right)

By the slimmest of margins, former professional wrestler and notorious bad-decision-maker Hulk Hogan has been trumped, so to speak, in terms of which orange-skinned, wispy-blond-haired blowhard in the WWE Hall of Fame is crappiest.

Not easily outdone, the Hulkster has made some terrible decisions in the past — racist comments, cuckoldry, a lawsuit financed by an embittered billionaire, the entire TNA run — but his indiscretions pale in comparison to the other WWE Hall of Famer whose skin also seems to be grafted from an overcooked hot dog.

But even Hogan’s litany of misdeeds and poorly spelled tweets seem charming compared to the other Cheeto-coloured, bald-in-denial cartoon in the WWE Hall of Fame, who also happens to be the “president” of the United States.

Whereas Hogan has at least tried to apologize for his terrible decisions, Trump has been apologetic about his idiocy, such as claiming that Barack Obama was born in Kenya, or taking the world’s worst Stone Cold Stunner.

While Hogan and Trump are both overblown, spray-tanned cartoons, Trump narrowly beat Hogan for the title of Worst WWE Hall of Famer after making a handful of stupid decisions, such as: saying he grabs women “by the pussy,” banning transgenders in the military with a tweet, promising Mexico would build a border wall and then shutting down the American government after not getting American taxpayers to fund it, denying climate change, blaming California wildfires on poor raking, grovelling to Vladimir Putin, launching pointless trade wars, repeatedly going against the US Intelligence community, demonizing Muslims, insulting the parents of a fallen war hero, turning America into a global laughingstock, mocking a different war hero for getting caught, denying Russian influence on the 2016 election despite a mountain of evidence, calling the media “the enemy of the people” just like dictators of the past have, inciting violence at rallies, demonizing immigrants, paying for the silence of mistresses including porn stars, shaving Vince McMahon’s head, and 7,398 other indiscretions.

Most recently, Trump claimed that the song “Real American” is about him.

 

Kayfabe Staff

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