WATCH: Walter Tells Jeff Dunham Why Marriage Is Like A Slurpee

Jeff Dunham‘s sidekick Walter isn’t what you would call an optimist or a motivational speaker. The cranky old-timer tells it exactly how it is. He doesn’t have much of a filter, but that’s why we love him.

Jeff Dunham And Walter Discuss Marriage

One of the most frequent topics of Walter’s conversations is his wife. He never seems very happy with his decision to get married 46 years ago. Jeff compares women to a fine wine that gets better over time. Walter doesn’t think of his wife in those terms. “She’s aging like milk,” Walter grumpily said.

Walter also compares marriage to a Slurpee. It tastes really good for the first few sips, but the flavor doesn’t last long! Soon you are left with flavorless ice.

You can see Walter give Jeff some hilarious marital advice in the video below. Be aware that Walter uses some choice words a couple of times!

Walter clearly is not a marriage counselor.

I laughed out loud when Walter pointed out a beautiful woman in the front row and told Jeff the “only thing you can do now is run to the end of your chain and bark” because he is married.

We Want To Meet Walter’s Wife

Jeff Dunham needs to bring Walter’s wife out. We’ve been waiting to meet her forever! It would be terrific to see them both argue on stage and see how she would react to Walter’s insults.

If Peanut and José Jalapeño can have an argument on stage, so can Walter and his wife!

Watch: Jeff Dunham Tries to Moderate Puppet Fight, Hilarity Ensues!

The ventriloquist created Walter after watching Bette Davis’ final appearance on “The Tonight Show.” Jeff Dunham gave Walter the iconic actress’s honest, unfiltered candor.

Walter is a Vietnam Veteran and former welder who “doesn’t give a damn” about what people think about him. That’s why we love him so much!

Share this if you would like Walter’s wife to make an appearance!