Porch Pirates
source youtube, screenshot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NbxrRJYX2c

Porch Pirates are a scourge to neighborhoods across America. With everyone getting everything from Amazon or delivery now, it is a constant worry that someone trolling the neighborhood will steal a package left on your doorstep. But, with the advent of doorbell cams, these package thieves are having to get creative, with a little nod to Oliver Twist. These petty larcenists are now even using kids to snatch the packages straight from your doorstep.

Porch Pirates Use Child To Steal Package

California resident Sierra Zamora checked her home security footage after noticing that her Amazon package was nowhere to be found. The Fresno homeowner was shocked by what she found.

Video footage showed an adult walking on the sidewalk outside her home, appearing to be checking porches for packages. The adult goes back towards their car, then walk back to the house along with a small child.

Next you can see the child by the front door of the home. The child appears confused and seems to double back, presumably looking for guidance, before making a beeline for the Amazon package and snatching it.

You can watch the entire scene unfold in the video below:

So there you have it, folks. Someone in California is using A CHILD to steal packages.

How Sad Is This?

The homeowner noted that these pillars of society didn’t even bother to dress the kid before taking them out to commit a crime.

“The saddest part is they were in their pajamas. Whoever it was just got them out of their car in their PJs to come steal this package,”

This is sad for two reasons. 

    • You’re teaching a child to steal and become a criminal, which is not OK. This parent is setting this kid down a bad path. If you aren’t teaching your kid right and wrong, then you’re setting them up to fail when it comes to the real world. 
    • You don’t know what you’re stealing. Yes it could be something as harmless as a laptop charger. It could be something that is a matter of life and death.

Thankfully, in this case the homeowner reports that the stolen item is a laptop charger. But the porch did not know that. Porch piracy can have dire consequences.

Related:  Porch Pirate Arrested After His Car Gets Stuck In Snow When Fleeing The Scene

Here’s a somewhat novel idea: don’t steal.

If you need the money so bad, go out and get a job. Use the time you would’ve spent driving up and down the street looking for packages to hit the want ads. Everyone is hiring now, especially since it is the holidays.

Sometimes jobs suck. But you know what is worse than a job? Going to jail for stealing someone’s J. Crew delivery.

Of course, if these porch pirates enjoy driving around so much, maybe they should sign up to be an Amazon delivery driver!

So How Can You Deal With Porch Pirates?  

You might be asking yourself how to prevent the dreaded and evil porch pirates. Here are a few creative solutions. 

Glitter bombs:

How about renting a mailbox?

Amazon has Hub Lockers at 7/11s where you can send packages to be picked up. Plus you get yourself a Slurpee and one of those three-foot-long beef jerky sticks.

Do you have any porch pirate stories? Let us know in the comments.

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