Sports

McMahon Totally Forgets There’s a Pay-Per-View Tonight

Sports-entertainment mogul Vincent K. McMahon awoke suddenly today from his daily afternoon nap after making a startling realization: there’s a WWE pay-per-view on tonight.

“Dammit,” McMahon hollered as he scrambled out of bed, frantically pulled a pair of sensible slacks over his tightie-whities, and grabbed his phone.

“Start the private jet, pal!

Raw series finale
Vince McMahon’s encroaching senility will be ratings gold.

“a bleary-eyed McMahon screamed at his pilot. “We can still make it.”

Unfortunately, tonight’s pay-per-view event — which is called Clash of Vengeance or something like that — is happening in Charlotte North Carolina, and McMahon is at his summer mansion in Alaska, where he hunts for the most dangerous game: man.

Despite the 10-hour flight duration, McMahon stubbornly insists he can make it to the event, especially since he just decreed via social media that every bout will now be a 60-minute Iron Man Match.

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