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Austin 3:17 Says I Just Moderated Your Contract Signing

WWE hopes for a major merchandising windfall thanks to teve Austin's new catch-phrase, "Austin 3:17 says I just moderated your contract signing."

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) is hoping for a major merchandising windfall thanks to “Stone Cold” Steve Austin coining a new catch-phrase, “Austin 3:17 says I just moderated your contract signing.”

Austin, a retired sports-entertainment megastar and superb catcher of flying beers, aims to recapture the incredible success of the “Austin 3:16” brand when he officially unveils “Austin 3:17” next Monday when he moderates a contract signing between Brawn Strowman and Seth Todd Rollins.

Steven Austin will spend the next five days at an immersive workshop for moderators of legal procedures.

Some pundits, however, warn that the lightning-in-a-bottle spontaneity of his legendary utterance during the so-called Attitude Era — “Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass — will be difficult to re-create.

It remains to be seen whether Austin’s performance as the moderator will resonate with WWE fans, who tend not to be enthusiastic about legal document procedures.

Austin is also expected to update his trademark “WHAT!?” catch-phrase with an utterance more befitting a moderator: “Could you please repeat that last statement for the record?”

 

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