Sports

UNPRECEDENTED! Retired wrestler remains retired

In what is being described by professional wrestling historians as a “truly unprecedented happening for the sport,” a retired wrestler did not come out of retirement this week.

Adam “Edge” Copeland, who retired from professional wrestling in 2012, made the highly unusual decision not to return to the ring in vain hopes of recapturing a glimmer of past glory,

Adam Copeland has not donned tights or a goofy glittery jacket since retiring, which is causing much confusion among wrestling fans.

“This is unheard-of,” wrote longtime wrestling analyst Dan Mutzler. “Seven years retired without a single lackluster return beset by ring rust and desperation? Now I’ve seen everything.”

Although Copeland could easily earn a six-figure payday by donning the tights for one more match — even if that match involves only gimmicky theatrics and no dangerous “bumps” — he broke from tradition by refusing to tarnish his legacy with a quick cash-in.

“Nah, I’m happy to remain retired,” Copeland said, unlike Goldberg, Ric Flair, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Hulk Hogan, Terry Funk, Batista, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Batista, and practically every other wrestler who has ever lost a retirement match.

Terry Funk, meanwhile, recently lost his 100th retirement match, and is scheduled to come out of retirement tomorrow for a retirement match against Jerry Lawler, who is booked to perform next week.

  • Categories

  • Leave a Comment