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Thousands of wrestling fans to “storm” Parts Unknown seeking truth about mysterious heels

Fed up with decades of secrecy and cover-ups, more than 300,000 fans of professional wrestling have signed on to a Facebook event pledging to “storm Parts Unknown” in a quest to “get the truth about them mysterious heels.”

The event, titled “Storm Parts Unknown, They Can’t Stop All of Us,” is inviting users from around the world to join a “Naruto run” — a Japanese manga-inspired running style featuring arms outstretched backwards and heads forward — into the birthplace of wrestlers including Papa Shango and The Missing Link.

The residents of Parts Unknown are warning that would-be raiders will be met with curses and green mist.

“We can move faster than their eye-gouges and green mist,” reads the event page, which has the raid scheduled for September 20. “The truth is out there.”

According to organizers of the event, wrestlers from Parts Unknown are not subject to the immigration process required of wrestlers from, say, Dudleyville or Deepest Darkest Africa — so they could pose a threat to the WWE Universe.

Residents of Parts Unknown, however, insist that anyone attempting to raid their hometown will be met with fierce, underhanded tactics when the referee is not looking.

“Search and destroy you, run and we’ll find you,” said Parts Unknown community leader Smash, who did not provide a surname.

It seems the storming of Parts Unknown may be a non-starter, however, since nobody knows where it is.

 

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