Sports

AEW Is “Best Promotion Ever,” Insists Man Who Has Never Seen AEW

Thanks to online discussion threads...

Professional wrestling has been “taken to the next level” by the “innovative and groundbreaking” promotion All Elite Wrestling, according Todd McCreary of Tacoma, who has never seen even a minute of AEW programming.

“What Cody (Rhodes) and the (Young) Bucks are doing is revolutionary,” wrote 31-year-old McCreary, under the pen name Omega_Klash99, in a Reddit discussion about the promotion.

McCreary, along with 23 percent of the other commenters in the forum, can attribute everything he knows about the burgeoning promotion to other online discussion threads, not any actual experience watching its events.

McCreary insists that “WWE sucks,” despite devoting roughly 20 hours per week to watching the company’s programming.

Despite his claims that he “just barely missed out on getting tickets to All In before it sold out,” a more truthful statement would be that could never have afforded tickets to All Out, let alone the travel to Chicago, on his wage as a part-time sandwich artist.

Nonetheless, McCreary wrote today that he will “almost certainly be at All Out,” by which he means he will almost certainly ask his parents if they can order All Out, which they won’t.

McCreary has also frequently bragged that he has every Bullet Club t-shirt ever printed, despite never having seen any footage of the Bullet Club.

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