Conor McGregor, worldwide icon of combat sports and phone smashing, announced his retirement via social media last night. This would of course be huge news if it were true, but the Irishman has played this game before, so we can only assume things are not as they seem.
Here’s the announcement:
Hey guys quick announcement, I’ve decided to retire from the sport formally known as “Mixed Martial Art” today.
I wish all my old colleagues well going forward in competition.
I now join my former partners on this venture, already in retirement.
Proper Pina Coladas on me fellas!
— Conor McGregor (@TheNotoriousMMA) March 26, 2019 
What could this mean? Well, McGregor has done this before for the sake of contract renegotiation.
It could also mean a failed drug test, or – and this is more like Conor – other kinds of legal woes forcing him on ice.
Whatever it is, McGregor is back in the newscycle and all is well in the world.